Comedians

Richard Pryor was an American comedian, actor, film director, social critic, satirist, writer, and MC. He was born in December 1, 2005, and died in December 10, 2005.

“Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.”

“When you ain't got no money, you gotta get an attitude.”

Chris Rock (born February 7, 1965) is an American comedian, actor, screenwriter, producer, and director.

“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”

“I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.”

“If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.”

“I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.”

Robin Williams (July 21, 1951 – August 11, 2014) was an American actor and comedian.

“What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.”

“Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.”

Jerry Seinfeld (born April 29, 1954) is an American comedian, actor, writer, and producer.

“You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'”

“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.”

“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.”

“Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.”

“Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.”

"Eddie" Murphy (born April 3, 1961) is an American comedian, actor, writer, singer, and director.

“There´s something about the icecream truck that makes kids lose it. And they can hear that sh from ten blocks away. They don´t hear their mothers calling but they hear that mf icecream truck.”

“Icecream man always drove extra blocks away. And I know he's seen us and sh, but I think he just be in the car with his friends and say: [imitating the ice cream man] Watch me how fast I make these mfs run.”

Jeff Foxworthy (born September 6, 1958) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, television and radio personality, author, and voice artist.

“Have

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