Pickup Technique By INTPs

The Ultimate INTP Pickup Technique

The other day I realized that it is time for me to pass this technique on to the next generation of awkward INTP teens and twenty-somethings, now that I am “settled down”. When you first read this you may think it’s completely ridiculous. To that I have the following responses:

You are right. It is completely ridiculous.

It works anyway.

You are an INTP. You are more than a little awkward regardless so you might as well own it.

It works.

Ok, so here’s the deal. This technique is intended for a particular kind of environment; an environment just so happens to be among the most uncomfortable for INTPs: crowded parties and bars.

Here’s what you do. Find a place where you can camp out with a couple friends that is just slightly out of the way of a main thoroughfare. You want a location that many people will have to pass by and yet allows you to remain unobtrusive when you want to. Depending on the floorplan you are dealing with, ideal places might include a seat at the bar or a corner next to a main doorway between two rooms.

Once you’ve found your place just hang out there for a bit, talk with your friends, and observe the traffic shuffling by. When you notice someone attractive who you might like to talk to, take a half step out into the flow of traffic, until you are partially blocking their path, put an ironic self-deprecating smile on your face, put your hand up in the air, and say “high five!”

image

That’s it.

You can go ahead now and roll your eyes.

Done?

Ok. Now that we have that out of the way, consider for a moment why this works:

It gives you an immediate read on someone’s receptiveness to your advances.

It quickly screens out people who have no interest in talking to you.

It initiates non-threatening physical contact.

Your inherent INTP awkwardness is obscured by the self-conscious humor of the high-five gesture.

It’s an easy conversation starter (you can easily segue into a conversation analyzing different kinds of high-fives, how different people respond, etc.)

It breaks the ice. Even if it doesn’t start a conversation, you can approach that person later and you aren’t a stranger. You are the high-five guy/girl.

It reduces fear of rejection because you are only minimally putting yourself out there with a slightly absurd and self-mocking gesture from the outset.

There are four basic kinds of response you will get…and this is where the real magic happens. How someone responds to the high-five tells you everything you need to quickly and accurately gauge their interest. The four responses are :

The

...