Philosophy

I have so many things to say and can’t find a way to say them. I feel lmy head is a knot of thoughts and feelings, mostly bad feelings. I sometimes wonder why I got to be such an emotional person, I hate it most of the time. I wish I had a cold heart instead of this huge and warm heart I have, it’s so sad giving everything to everyone, loving everyone so much it drains your body, your soul. I am not saying I want to be a robot with no emotions, I just want to feel rationally and not be so loving and giving, it just hurts too much.

Lack of self-confidence is the worst human trait I have, I wish with all I have that I could have some kind of self confidence, I want to know that I am worth it all, I want to know I am beautiful in and out, I want to know I am not a pain in the ass. I want to be better, much better and I really don’t know how. It kills me everyday, maybe I’m trying to change so bad that I block myself and can’t change. I am so bad at building relationships with others, I feel uninteresting, I feel like I am nothing. I am absolutely falling a part and I don’t have a reason why.

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